A Letter From a GIRL

Dear best friend,

Hello! How are You? Fine?

So, yeah! its gonna be one year since I've talked to you or seen you (though we never met instead of that crazy video calls we had). On March 18, it's gonna be complete one year since we have stopped talking. The previous year had been full of unusual or different incidents that I faced and it was rather a stressful year and time than any of the other passed years I've spent. Everything was fine in the beginning because the painful memories and incidents were still afresh in my heart which you, are totally unaware of.

Further it was all like the " I don't even care " mode on for the first three months.

The struggle started afterwards and this phase was really 'dramatic' I would say and was unbearable for me to handle. There was no day, no festival, no trip, or no occasion that I didn't have a thought about you since each of the festival- my birthday, your birthday, my trips, reminded me of something or the other which we used to say to each other or the way we wished each other and shared crazy pic of ours. I remember how all that late conversations were so interesting and tireless (no matter what was the time).

Since it is said that "each person, or incident gives you lesson and experience to lead life", I too got a good experience and lesson from all this.

I don't know whether this lesson learnt by me is right or not, but as for now, I feel completely okay with what I have learnt or accepted. The thing learnt by me is- I've completely stopped talking to random people (since I left all my social handles) and stopped giving importance to people who do not have anything to do with me. I've stopped sharing most of the things with friends I have or people around me since I believe they too are temporary in my life. I share only essential and limited information with my mom  and that the; 'other things' I keep it to myself completely. I do not trust people at all i.e. I have stopped trusting any of them, no matter who they are. I try not to promise anything to people because I do not want them to go through what I have been through; in case I make promises, I make sure that I fulfill them. 

I've started focusing a lot on my goal and future life because I want it to be full of joy, peace and contentment and permanent people who'll always be there. Yeah! I do miss you!, sometimes too much, sometimes little, sometimes not at all. But the thing that I wanna tell you is that- 'Thank You' for being in my life and making me realize that what a true friend and a caring person is. Thank You for instilling those feelings of utmost happiness which I felt just because of your presence. Thank You for each and everything you did! Though we both were wrong somewhere or the other (I know you are unaware), but mine only fault was I didn't let you know what actually happened and simply left because those conditions were not right to inform or explain you anything. And later I was unable to gather the confidence to tell you something and the truth... I didn't have guts to do it.

As for know, I want you to believe me and not misjudge me (in case you remember me) because nothing hurts more than misunderstanding between people who are (were) closely attached and I guess 'meant' a lot to each other. For the very first time, I realized one of the biggest inferiority I've, just like you i.e. I get a little more attached to people easily then any other person (maybe) and the painful part is, it is more difficult to get separated from a person who you are closely attached to, admire, care, trust, adore, and respect a lot.

It honestly feels like someone took the most precious part of your heart which can't be fixed. I don't know whether this case is specially with me or with others too but the sad part is "this is who I am", I get attached to people (who are close to me) too easily and care for them even when they are not a part of my life. I'll still think about you in the same manner and would not regret it even once. I will forget about everything that happened for a time being and still miss you like I used to (in the exact same manner) whenever we didn't talk.

I cannot just completely ignore people no matter how rough and tough  I show myself from outside, I cannot seriously; its not in me. Internally my soul insists me to do things which I cannot resist myself from doing it externally. Now the present situation is, either people are too close to me or they do not exist for me in my life; there's no 'middle' category in between.

So, now I'll end up wishing that you stay blessed and get everything you want - happiness, peace, love, good health and success. Here's wishing you a happy and a pleasant life further best friend!!

Love and regards 
(Naina)




In case you read this ever....


A post by : Vrinda Bharara